“Ballad of Santa Claus”

Written to the tune of “Jingle Bells”

Oh, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!
Santa’s got no dough. Oh, no!
The government, they took it all,
And the kids will be so sad.

Santa Claus was fat
And a jolly elderly.
They said he isn’t fit to live.
We’ll throw him in the sea!

The Feds paid a visit
To Santa’s workshop place.
They mentioned taxes left unpaid,
And they could use his space!

Santa said “Who cares!
Not me, the elves, nor kids.
They gave him a big ticket, and
He hit them in the ribs!”

Santa told them, “Take a hike,
In my frozen North Pole lake!”
They took him to the slammer . . .
Break him out for goodness’ sake!

Oh, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!
Santa’s got no dough. Oh, no!
The government, they took it all,
And the kids will be so sad.